hi guys n gurls. it's been afew missing days of updates cos I'm just personally in a right old emotional wreck that's affecting me deep.
now I know I shouldn't be posting personal stuff here cos it's a car forum but tbh it's my only outlet. I don't expect sympathy or anything, I'm just expressing myself and tis prob just a timestamp at a point of my life on this blog for the record.
long story short in
bold below vvv
so a friend I knew few yrs back had recently broke up with her bf after few yrs together.
I txted and called her making sure she's alright, listening to her story how she was never complimented n stuff which simply made her feel worthless. I was so upset by how she was treated, tis the opposite of what u expect from films/novels etc
tried to comfort her by expressing what I thought of her all along. back then whilst she was already with bf I obviously didn't ask her out cos I'm not that sorta bloke who intrudes. spilled me heart over how beautiful she was inside & outside n how imho she was my ideal type compared to all my prev ones, she returned the compliments. maybe I got too carried away.
we were overdue a long meetup for awhile, we wanted to meet up and she suggested twas her bday coming up, shweet I made her a prezzy n all. and she said woulda luv to pop up to mine in future, I suggested the trackdays I'll be doing in june and she said perfect. talked bout going roadtrips or flatmates together etc.
she mentioned that after leaving this long term bad relationship, she had forgotten who she was, still had feelings for him that she really wants to get rid off and wanna rediscover herself before another relationship. I was on the same boat. K maybe I didn't pickup the signs she was more after friendship from me at the mo (cos she didn't wanna ruin our friendship) whereas I was after gf since she's kinda available (this misunderstanding leads to later on).
she was busy at work with few txts till the weekend. I was really looking forward to driving down for her bday to hug n give prezzy n get to know her over few days before having the balls to ask her out.
that dream shattered when friday night she had a gr8 night out after work, asked what she gotup to, she hanged out with friends n talked to a guy who she really liked for awhile.....
then the penny dropped like a sledge hammer
I was really attracted to her n was hoping to have a chance to work it out but I think she wasn't feeling the same (she couldn't rudely tell me oobviously) and friendzoned me as the rebound guy
ah shytee
long story short she rejected me.
on top of being dumped by temporary gf lisa in Jan, losing TG and quitting my job in March, losing money, and now being rejected by a girl I really facied, it's no friggin surprise that 2015 for me is turning out to be the worst year of my ENTIRE life with everything turned upside down. I'm so sad, angry, frustrated, maybe very depressed at myself and it's affecting me physically too with loss of appetite, constant bloated stomach, very tired, very low motivation, constant daydream staring at the thought I'll be a lonely single & broke old chinese virgin lol (gawd the old -ve depression thoughts has a heavy punch eh)
maybe girls are just not into a emotional nice wuss like me ttbh (chris I can hear you say Man Up ffs lol) but I can't change who I am and tis probably fate.
said I'm still her friend, my opinions bout her remains n I'll still send her that prezzy I made for her but now I'm trying hard to forgive her n move on from this mood.
neway romance movie stuff over, lets resume car blog below...
