The ecu led is on the side of the ecu behind the drivers center console kick panel...no need to remove the ecu...you might be able to pull the panel out slightly to look behind it, either that or its two bolts and the panel will come off...which ever way you do it, you'll see a flashing red light once in diag mode, its that light you want to count.
btw the led is inside the ecu, theres a cluster of holes (maybe 5 or 7 cant remeber exactly) in the caseing its this area that lights up.
I think the fault sounds similar to the throttle body fault, though things like the fuel or ignition system could also be the cause.
